Relationship Refresh

25 Fun Challenges to Refresh Your Relationship in 25 days ❤️

Day 1: Give each other a compliment.

Day 2: Show each other your favorite picture of the other person.

Day 3: Slow dance at home together.

Day 4: Write each other love notes and give them when you get in bed that night.

Day 5: Have a no electronics night.

Day 6: Tell each other how you knew or the moment you knew they were the one.

Day 7: Tell each other a time you were proud or impressed with each other.

Day 8: Read each other’s love languages.

Day 9: Make a playlist of songs that remind you of each other.

Day 10: Have a date night.

Day 11: Leave a little note in an unexpected place.

Day 12: Work on a task together. It could be making something or organizing an area of your home.

Day 13: Recreate your first date .

Day 14: Rewrite your vows.

Day 15: Share your vows.

Day 16: Draw a picture of the other person.

Day 17: Take a faceless photo.

Day 18: Play 20 questions.

Day 19: Make a time capsule.

Day 20: Thank your significant other for 3 things they did for you recently.

Day 21: Share a fantasy.

Day 22: Exercise together.

Day 23: Go on a date with another couple.

Day 24: Tell each other your favorite parts of this Relationship Refresh!

Day 25: Do both of your favorite days of the Relationship Refresh again!

Why I don’t agree with the expression “Rainbow Baby” .

It was December and I was pregnant with our third and final child. We were so excited and our kids were too. Our son wanted a little brother and our daughter wanted a real baby to hold! It was time for our 17 week appointment and we let our daughter come with to hear the baby’s heartbeat. But that day we heard nothing. Silence.

First we go into the exam room the doctor asks me how I have been feeling I tell him fine but tired! I look over at my husband and he is holding our daughter both giddy with excitement for the doctor to get out his fancy tool and do his thing. He is looking for the heartbeat and I think to myself “This usually doesn’t take that long.” But I still wait patiently. After about 5 minutes I look at my husband and all I see is confusion and worry in his eyes but he tells me everything is ok with his mouth. Then the Doctor says “I’m going to see if you can get an ultra sound real quick, I’m thinking that baby is in a funny spot.” Panic sets in, my daughter looks confused, my husband says he is going to have his mom come get her. By now I’m crying but still thinking that everything is okay because I have had 2 normal pregnancies.

So we go to ultra sound and the tech makes a sad looking face, I see my baby but he isn’t moving and he is curled up like he is sleeping. Then the doctor comes in the ultra sound room (which I know something is wrong now because they never come in) I see a tear in his eye and say ” Why are you looking at me like that?!” All he says is he is so sorry.

The next week was a fog. My husband was my rock and I could never of gotten through any of this without him taking care of me and making me feel normal again. But then, people start saying this to me ” You will get your rainbow baby.” I never heard the phrase before so I ask what it means. “After every storm comes a rainbow.” My first instinct after hearing this was honestly “WHAT?!” Why do people think they can replace things/people with other things and people? It’s painful and heartbreaking.

Did it suck losing a child ? YES. That’s just it he is our child! He is NOT a storm, he is not a dark time in my life, he is my baby and that’s what he will always be. The term “Rainbow baby” sounds like every bit of replacing him. I told my doctor, friends, and family that I would not be having another child. I can’t tell you how many people would say “Well what if something happens to one of your children or both ? You wouldn’t have any.” Thats right I wouldn’t because they are people and you don’t replace people with new people.

To be clear, I am not saying do not try again after losing a child! Absolutely try again if your family is not complete. Every piece of a family is important. Family is loving each person for everything they are.

We still believe our special boy Will is with us. Every day we can count on seeing a tiny cardinal sitting on our swing set and we think it’s our little reminder of our sweet angel baby that we can not wait to meet one day.

-Ally Bryant

10 Simple ways to say “I Love You” without words.

1. Hold hands often.

Couples who hold hands often are proven to be happier than those who do not. One of our favorite things to do is hold hands in the car and listen to music.

2. Ask each other on dates.

Dates play an important part in showing someone you care. Dating your spouse let’s them know that you are still interested in them. We try and go on a date at least once a month.

3. Give shoulder rubs for no reason.

Does this one really need an explanation?

Think about what your grandparents always said “Treat others the way you want to be treated.

4. Do each other’s chores.

Chores are great when someone else does them for you right? This means when your husband does one of your chores never tell them they are not doing it right! Just appreciate they care enough to do it for you.

5. Ask your partner how their day was.

Be a listening ear and take interest if your partner had a great day or a bad day. This is the way you show each other that you are there for them no matter what.

6.Give little gifts.

Gifts make anyone feel good. It could be an expensive gift or something as simple as a note, a kind gesture let’s you know your partner was thinking of you and wanted to make your day.

7. Kiss and hug (not just when you are coming and going).

It’s SO important to show each other affection.

8. Flirt with each other.

It may seem silly, but it isn’t. Everyone likes to be wanted especially by their significant other. Make each other laugh and make each other smile it’s worth it.

9. Always say Thank you.

When anyone does something for you the right thing to do is say thank you. In relationships this phrase sometimes gets forgotten. The lady at Starbucks hands you coffee and you say “thank you” so if your spouse does something that helps you they deserve the same.

10. Talk about your future together.

If you aren’t doing this, start.

-Joe and Ally

Why I let my husband be a man.

Modern marriage is different than traditional marriage. Not necessarily bad just different. Sure it’s great that women don’t always need men in this time we live in. But wanting and needing are two very different things. I WANT my husband to be the man of the house and I NEED my husband to be the man of the house.

Here’s why:

1. I like to feel safe. I like the natural instincts he has as a man and I do not want to do the things he has to do like go make sure that noise I heard in the middle of the night is nothing, or do gross things like kill spiders !

2. My life is better because of him wanting that for me.

Men have this natural need to make their partner happy. If something I want is feasible and not ridiculous my husband will almost always do it. Men hate seeing their women upset, they ALWAYS have your back.

3. He deserves it !

My husband deserves to feel like king of the castle. Do you know why ? Because he made me queen of the castle and let’s me know it on the daily. For some reason some women think it is the man’s job to make them feel special and important and they do not have to do the same. Guess what ladies ? THAT IS YOUR JOB TOO! Men are not our slaves they are our gift.

4. Our kids.

Our kids need this. I need my son to see my husband not be put down as a man so he can be a good husband to his wife. I try to be a good example of a wife to my daughter, as well as what I want my son to look for in a woman. All we want for our children is for them to be happy.

5. I love him.

If you married someone that means you love them. Loving someone means they are important to you and your job is to let them know that. Husbands need to know we need them, they want to take care of their families and lead.

– Ally Bryant @MarriedMillenials.com

Miscarriage: A Father’s Story

hands

There is nothing like that first time you hear your baby’s heart beat. That’s when it becomes a reality, you’re going to be some one’s daddy. You go through the motions, buying gross foods, making sure she is comfortable, putting together cribs, and putting up gates that you can’t open. Everything in the world is right and your lady is glowing like a lamp in the middle of the ocean at midnight.

Ten weeks in I found out via the new testing available I was going to have another little boy! My son and daughter were so happy and we were too.

Twelve weeks in and we are listening to the little guy’s heart, the doc seems pleased and sends us home. Now its 100% real and we need to pick a name that we feel will be a fit for our child and will suit him for years to come. William Allen Bryant. It was perfect in every way and so was he!

Seventeen weeks in we are at the O.B. office for a regular appointment. It was finally time for that part of the visit where you get to hear your child, we didn’t. The doctor told us not to worry and sometimes this happens the baby is probably just in weird positioning for us to hear right now. The next step was to go in for an ultra sound to make sure everything is okay. The tech started her thing, checking out the situation it seemed like she was quiet in comparison to the past times we had ultra sounds but I didn’t think anything of it, until the doctor walked in crying and said “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry honey.” leaning over my wife to give her a hug (he knew my wife personally as she went to school with his children).  Never in my life have I felt so empty and useless.

As the father it seems that many don’t understand that we go through just as much as the mother does. Obviously the physical drama of this situation is something we dads cant do, but mentally we are in the same boat of the overflowing river of emotions with our wife- we won’t show it though. For the next few days all I could do was try to make sure my wife knew she did NOTHING wrong. I’d sneak away once in a while for about 30 seconds I would cry the hardest I ever have just silent tears and a clenched face and fists. After those 30 seconds it was back to seeming okay just a little sad and taking care of her.

After the first few days it was time to take action and get my wife moving, unfortunately time wasn’t stopping and we needed to get back to life (whatever that new life was). I had finally been able to now go a few hours at a time without my private mini break downs and had to get her out of the house to help her get to where I was.

Here’s the thing, you have to move forward and know that no one that hasn’t been through the loss of a child will understand. Just know that it SUCKS, it really sucks. Stay Strong brothers, it does get better! You are worth it too and you deserve to feel the way you do. You deserve the moments to be sad, after all you are some one’s daddy.

-Joe Bryant

mom and dad